What I Learned from My 5-Year Old about the Physicality of Motherhood

When my daughter was born 5 years ago she was my third pregnancy but my first live child.  And while being a mother all on its own was challenging enough, adding the physical recovery from pregnancy and childbirth to the equation made getting back to “normal” feel extremely daunting this time.

What motivated me from the beginning was that I wanted to keep up with her which meant swinging across the monkey bars again. An activity, that as a woman in my early 40’s, seemed like a long shot not only because the first attempt was pitiful but because the physics weren’t the same nor was the body. However, as a teacher and practitioner of Pilates, I was confident I could do it if I persisted.

We’ve been going to the playground her entire life. It’s always been a place to observe not only how kids interact with one another but how they navigate the world of the playground.  

How kids run, swing, jump, hang, chase, climb, fall, and recover, was like watching Ninja Warriors but pint sized. So I took notes.  

I watched her hang and swing from various playground elements. I noticed her grip and how she used her body to swing before going down a slide. I followed her up the stairs crawling on my hands and knees. I chased her. I held her from underneath to support her first attempts at crossing the monkey bars. All of this was work for me too.  

As I watched and played with her, I noticed her physicality was full body; she was still in her animal body, her limbs grew from her center out and she, in turn, learned from the outside back in. I brought that back to my Pilates practice and how I move and teach movement.

I observed how my grip influences the muscles in my arms. Understanding how my arms relate to my torso helped me figure out how to hold my head again without neck or upper back pain. I relearned the relationship between my head and pelvis, a relationship multiple pregnancies had thrown off, which increased my lower back pain. I noticed how my feet and legs connect to my pelvis which, after mindful and consistent adjustments, helped correct the residual effects of poor footwear choices and ankle sprains.  

After many hours of self exploration that inspired a new way of doing and teaching movement, plus a few new calluses on my hands, I can now say that on the eve of my daughter’s 5th birthday, I am finally able to swing across the monkey bars. And it happened the same day she made her first solo crossing.  Thank you, my daughter, for being my teacher.